Today I am alone as I have never been before, in a little apartment. The house that I thought that I could never leave because there was so many memories, the children and I saw growing there, sickness and then health. The first step of Paul and Cecilia and Rose and my dear baby Patrick. It seems that I can still hear them take their first steps. their little feet on the floor. They all got married while living in their house, our home. The good times I had with my family, their singing, their music playing and broken hearts many times too. Three of my sons got divorced; it’s hard for a husband and wife to draw apart but don’t forget the heart of the mother, the sorrow she can have seeing her children getting divorced. The poor children between them. Two are remarried today, thank the Lord. They married each a good wife and they got back their future. I hope one day the other one could also find a good wife to set his life anew. My house there was too many memories. The chair at the end of the table where he used to sit and sleep, his head laid on his hand sleeping. I couldn’t stay there no more so I moved. The house has been sold; I was glad because if I
have seen my house empty too long I had gone back there maybe. So I was very glad when one of my nephews bought it. Of course I miss my house. I’m very lonesome some times. I cry now in silence but my tears aren’t worth nothing now. I don’t want to show my loneliness to my children; I don’t want to hide from them what is hurting me the most now is going to see my poor Richard at the house. He got pain all the time; he hates the doctor, the nurses, the workers. He has no patience at all. I give him all he needs, poor him, but I cannot give him what he needs. God only can give him that comfort, his health. Every time I go see him, I can’t stay long. and when I leave I leave with him a part of my heart with him. My children they are good to me. I love them as always and I will love them till the end. They have been my life. I live my life for them. I don’t want to bother them their lives then I can because they have their family to take care of. Sometimes I need to bother them for things or other and I don’t like this. They are all ready every time I need them. I’m sorry for them, having to bother with me. I love them and I know they all love me. I also have good son-in-law
and daughter-in-law and I love them all. Today I have 44 children and 26 great grandchildren also. For my sister Laura she done me wrong to lie to me and my mother but she has been bery good to me and I forgi e her and love her. She is in Frenchville Security Home. All I have left now is one brother Leonard and three sisters. For Emily, Emile’s sister who works for me for a lone time she died in 1949. She was a good sister-in-law. May God give rest to her soul. As for Aurare, she is still living but she has been in poor health for many years now.
Today I love all the peoples. If I have enemies somewhere, I don’t know about them. And I love them where ever they are. For my little apartment, it’s very small but warm and comfortable.
And I love the place. I got good neighbors to pass my time. I got a good big TC and I got tape recorder and many beautiful cassette tapes and whem I’m lonesome I play my tapes and sing. I have a good violin and accordian that I sold but they are in good hands. I sold them to my grandchild Lewis Labrie. I miss my music. I wish I had
kept them for a while but it’s too late now to think about them.
I registered over 300 songs for the public, archiving all French old songs. If you happen to go to Quebec, Canada you can go to the archives and hear my songs there and also my pictures. My name is there too. I also registered my songs on tapes for me. I also wrote about 300 of my songs so I won’t forget them. And if God give me my sight still for awhile I will sing my songs till the end. And if I can’t see, I can hear them on my tapes. I also read hundreds of nice old fashioned romance and mystery books. I also gave them to my daughter Laurette. I hope she won’t throw them away because there is so many old peoples who would like to read them.
I can’t sing too much now but I can still sing to myself.
Before ending I would like to ask you to forgive my bad writing, the bad spelling and words misplaced as you read. I never went to English school. What I know today I learn this by myself. And it’s very poor. Maybe one day I will have My Valley Of Tears tape with a typewriter. And by
someone who can spell and put my words at their place. So thank you if you had the patience to read it through. You will have my benediction and I love you all.
by Estelle Bourgoin Hebert
I’d rather have one little rose
And kindness says to me
Then flattery when my ears is still
I would rather have a lovely smile
From a friend I know is true
Then to be around my casket
When this world I bid adieu
Bring me all flowers today
Whether pink or white or red
I’d rather have a blossom now
Then a truckload when I’m dead.
Would you feel the same that I know what’s in my mind? I say have yourself a nice weekend, a laugh and a smile.
Adieu je vous, Aimie (graphic heart)