[pages 71-73 to come]

Pages 71-80

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Remember mother when I came home and you are saying today that I am not helping you to milk the cows.  Yes, it’s true.  I don’t help you because you told me not to bother with the cows – to help aurare in the house and I am doing all I can to do my share .  It’s true I said I am now pregnant again but my children are not bastard and I almost said it’s your dirty sons fault, he is the one who do the children. I would never have one on my part but I didn’t say it to shut my mouth.  Mother said I hate you so much.  You can never be sick enough to please [him] and you never can starve enough to suite me and run if [… ] I won’t give you my worst breadcrumbs.  As for my love, I didn’t want you to help me because I did;t want you to dirty the name[…] that’s how much they find me dirty[…]but what hurts me the most that day was to see them insult my Poor Mother who was so good I couldn’t listen no more.  I took my little Clarence and I went over Uncle Hubald Hebert and I thought when Emile came home I [would] come back. I didn’t know Uncle Hubald and his wife too much but I couldn’t stay in the house another minute.  My uncle Hubald was

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In the house when I came in and he said , well you’re crying

PAGES 71-73 NEED TO BE TRANSCRIBED. I COULDN’T READ THE LIGHT COPY ON THOSE PAGES.

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in the next summer my father in law and his wife. They went to pass the day in St. Agatha with Clarise so we were alone all day with Aurare.  And at night they came home and I took my children to bed and it was early but as Aurare was [roughing] them I put them to bed early. And on the floor upstairs there was a grill so the heat could come upstairs. So I sit near this grill on the floor and mom and father in law was sitted downstairs but under that grill so I thought I will listen to them talk.  The talk for awhile and father said, Estelle didn’t [dump] in the bean pot, mom said no but Aurare said that she cook a big frying pan of meat and eggs. And they eat all they could eat and she throw the rest in the hogs barrels. This was not true at all. And she said I told Emile not to buy her anything because it will be spoiling his money. I don’t know where Emile had money to spoil because we had been working there for nothing, not a penny. We work there for 3 years and he bought me a pair of shoes once for $2.50 and he keeps repeating those shoes that he bought me to the end of his life. Never a piece of clothing for the kid, nothing.

Emile was almost [naked] so one day he ask his father can I go work for a week or 2 for Edmond Gangnon to cut

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some wood. His father said yes you can go. The spring planting was done and nothing much to do on the farm.  So Emile work for 2 weeks but Lew took sick from cholera.  And we have to get the doctor for him and after the doctor was paid, Emile didn’t have much money to buy clothes. And one day, Lew, had no more nipple and he was crying. Father in law was going down town so I give 5 cent to mom in law again to give to him to buy a nipple.  I heard them say I don’t sucks one.  If she wants to suck let her buy her own nipple.  He keeps the 5 cents but didn’t buy any. Emile had to go downtown himself to get a nipple for Lew. So that night when I listen to them talk near the grill upstairs I went to bed crying,  Emile and Aurare and [Alsime} and friend were playing cards in the kitchen. He came to bed. I was still crying. He ask me what’s the matter, I said nothing, He said are you sick I said no I’m not sick. Well, he said you don’t cry for nothing and I want to know why you are crying. So I told him what I hear from his father and mother.  The next morning he was mad about Aurare and his mother. He said to them often time I saw that Estelle cried. And I want this to be the last time leave her alone and what you said was Aurare lies. Aurare was so mad

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and his mother too. She said if you are not satisfied get your bitch and bastard out of here. It was pure hell.

Ozime came that day and he took my part so his mother throw him out. Ozime and Laura always took my part that’s why Emile and his mother hated him and Laura. So I told Emile that night you can stay but me I can’t stand it no more. I’m going away. I didn’t know where to go but I couldn’t stay there with my dear children no more.

So we moved in the same old house near the lake belonging to Alderie Langasse where we stay for awhile when Laurettte was small. But I had no more things – mother in law had given everything to Clarice when she got married. All I have was my bed and cribs and Lew and Laurette had a bed for the 2 of them. The same old stove father let us have again and Emile made a big old fashioned table again and to eat, salt pork and pancake and Uncle Hubald told Emile come get the potatoes you need. I give them to you.

Emile keeps on working for his father for nothing just fat salt pork and buckwheat flour. I had to cut some branches, spruce branches to scrub the floor and cedar branches to sweep the floor. Laura let me have a big black pan to cook in and a frying pan, a few old forks and that’s it. We eat in pail cover, no clock or mirror, nothing. I took an old fork to comb

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Laurette and Lew and Clarence and myself. Nothing to wash the cloths in. I had to wash clothes by hand in an old pan. And as Emile was never home after working all day for his father, he eat there and came home around 11 o’clock at night. He had to go feed the horses for the night before coming home. That’s what he said anyways.

So I had to get my wood myself, to cook and warm the house. There was an old fence. I burn every piece of it and I cut some from the woods near the lake. I kept the house clean and the children.

After potato digging was over, Emile and his father hauls potatoes in town with the 2 teams of horses, each a load but when Emile pass our house he never stop to see if were were alright, He didn’t care he was home so rarely. The children didn’t know their father. Clarence was a year old and when Emile was home on weekends and talk to him he cry he was scared of his father. One day he came home I was sick with birth pain and I sent him to call a doctor. And I give birth to a little boy 2 months premature. I name him Aime like my father, but we always called him T. Emile god mercy was in the good health and I didn’t have any hard time with him. When I was out of bed one night there was nothing to eat in the house

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Not even flour to make pancakes. I was hungry and the children too. Mama, Laurette said, I’m hungry. I put them to bed and said sleep for a little while and papa will come and bring some food. But Emile came as always at 11 o’clock with nothing to eat. Ok he said I forgot. So the next morning he went over Uncle Hubald and he bring a little pail of flour and potatoes, few pieces of salt pork. My poor children was so hungry – for my little baby I nurse him. Few days after nothing more to eat I went in the garden and there was some old string beans that stayed in the garden that Alderie Lagasse leave there. I pick them up and I took them off their shell and cook them with just no fat at all. And at night for supper me and the children eat those beans as it would have been raisin pies. When I think of that today I hardly believed this really happens. As it was too cold to live in that old house for the winter, we moved in Ozime’s  little house near the in laws again. Ozime and Laura was moved on a farm in Caribou to work by there. We moved in their little house. My little Aime was born Nov 12 and he was 12 days old when I more in Laura’s house. Emile keeps on working for his father and I start crocheting for the companies to earn

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a few dollars to try to buy clothes for the children and me. My mother give me some of her clothing and she made some clothes for the kids too. She often times bring some things to eat, vegetables and conserve. Everytime she come she always brings me something.  My stepfather often give me money and he give some to the children too. I couldn’t crochet much in the day time but I work at night. I had an old lamp but no lamp chimney so I took a quart jar and I took a string of wool yarn and Oh just enough to put around my jar. I soak this piece of wool in kerosene and tied it about an inch at the bottom of the jar. And when the string finish burning I soak the jar in cold water and the bottom of the jar fell off. So this make me a lamp chimney. And I work up to 12 or 1 hour at night.

I was pregnant again for the next baby in March. And in the winter I had to melt some snow to have water to wash the clothes because it was too far to go to the well to get my water. Besides I had no pail so I melt snow and for my soap I put some stove ashes in an old pan and pour hot water on it. After it calm down I took the water on top so this was my soap to

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Wash the clothes and scrub the floor. It was good to wash but I often burn my hand because this was very strong some times. When Emile went down town he went at the store and bring me beef and pork fats. And with caster and raisins I make myself some soap. I cook this in Emile’s father’s big black kettle outdoors. So I had enough soap for awhile and I had no soda for my pancake. I put a spoon of that stuff that I made with ashes and it made nice pancake but it taste like ashes a bit.

And this little house was so cold as I told you before it was terrible this little house. About 18 feet long and 12 feet large. 2 beds and a stove and a wood sink in one corner, a little cupboard on the top of th sink and the other corner was a little start to go upstairs butit was too cold to sleep upstairs. I couldn’t washt he floor too often the water was ffreezing on it.

March 16 I give birth to another little boy. I name him Haime Richard, like Doc Richard Savage. He was thin and small. I try to breast feed him but I had no milk at all. And mother in law came one day and said give him some rolled oates water, its good for an infant. So I boil oates and give him the water. He drink some for a little while but instead of growing he keep losing weight and cry all the time.  One day Mr. Octave Theriault came in